English Jokes SMS and Status Messages

English Jokes SMS, English Jokes Status Messages
Viewed: All time: 82786 times, Week: 56 times
Updated one year ago
One Year Ago | 2 shares | By Deepak # 44

KID :- Why some of ur hair are
white dad ?
DAD : - Every time a son make his dad
unhappy ,
one of his father's hair turns white .....
KID :- Now understand why
grandpa's hairs are all white.

One Year Ago | 4 shares | By Sujit # 74

A student is talking to his teacher.

Student: 'Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?'
Teacher: 'Of course not.'
Student: 'Good, because I haven't done my homework.'

One Year Ago | 2 shares | By Animesh # 94

Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World…
.
.
.
E-Mail To Email
&
Female To Female….

One Year Ago | 4 shares | By Anika # 77

One million copies of a new book sold
In just two days due to typing error of one alphabet in title.
'An idea,that can change your WIFE'
While real word was(LIFE).

One Year Ago | 9 shares | By Animesh # 94

Teacher: Behind every successful man there is a women
what do we learn from this?
Student: we should stop wasting time in studies and find a woman.

One Year Ago | 15 shares | By Deepak # 109

Two factory workers are talking
The woman says, "I can make the boss give me the day off."
The man replies, "And how would you do that?"
The woman says, "Just wait and see." She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling.
The boss comes in and says, "What are you doing?"
The woman replies, "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says, "You've been working so much that you've gone crazy. I think you need to take the day off."
The man starts to follow her and the boss says, "Where are you going?"
The man says, "I'm going home, too. I can't work in the dark."

One Year Ago | 14 shares | By Anju # 33

In a classroom Teacher asks a student to count from 0 to 10. Student : 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10
Teacher : Where is 5?
Student : Yesterday I heard in the news that 5 died in a car accident…..

One Year Ago | 2 shares | By Rahul # 18

Boys Always Remain Faitfull To Their Girlfriend..!!
But,
Which Girlfriend??
That's Still a Topic Of Research..!!

One Year Ago | 1 shares | By Vikas # 80

A: Why are you late?
B: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
A: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
B: No, I was standing on it.

One Year Ago | 33 shares | By Charan # 23

Teacher: Tell me the name of any Microsoft Product?
Bunty: MS Excel
Lucky: MS Word
Bittu: MS Powerpoint
Pappu after thinking a lot, “MS Dhoni”!

2 Years Ago | 5 shares | By Kunal # 27

When a Guy does Something Wrong…
Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/
When a Girl does Something Wrong…
Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/

2 Years Ago | 7 shares | By Rahul # 18

Another Moon?… Possible Another Sun?… Possible Another Sky?… Possible Another person Like U?… Impossible ‘Coz God can’t make the same Mistake twice.

2 Years Ago | 7 shares | By Gaurav # 107

U luv sumone… u marry sumone else. The one u marry becomes ur wife or husband & the one u loved becomes the password of your emai id…!

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Shinde # 19

A Woody Joke..
What wood happn if u had a wooden car,
with wooden seats
wooden tyres..
and a wooden engine?
It Wooden't start..!

3 Years Ago | 16 shares | By 9875288111 # 12

Boy: I can’t marry you. My family is not permitting me.


Girl: Who’s in your family?


Boy: My wife and children.

3 Years Ago | 5 shares | By Sujit # 74

A: Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?
B: Yes I am, I married the wrong woman.

3 Years Ago | 4 shares | By Awadhesh # 99

A man was pulled over for driving too fast,
even though he thought he was driving just fine.
Officer: You were speeding.
Man: No, I wasn't.
Officer: Yes, you were. I'm giving you a ticket.
Man: But I wasn't speeding.
Officer: Tell that to the judge! (The officer gives man the ticket.)
Man: Would I get another ticket if I called you a jerk?
Officer: Yes, you would.
Man: What if I just thought that you were?
Officer: I can't give you a ticket for what you think.
Man: Fine, I think you're a jerk!

3 Years Ago | 7 shares | By Sujit # 74

Kiss Is The Key Of Love,
Love Is The Lock Of Marriage,
Marriage Is The Box Of Children,
And too many Children means more Problem for the world
So Please Stop Kissing & Save the world for a while…

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Nitin Dhiman # 125

What is the height of Flirting? It’s When your love letter starts with: TO WHOMSOEVER IT MAY CONCERN

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Nirati # 45

A motorist hit a sparrow. He took d unconscious bird, put in cage with bread & water. Bird wakes up, luks around & screams: Salakhen! My God! I’ve killed the motorist.

3 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Nitin Dhiman # 125

A Chinese couple Mr. & Mrs. Hua got twins without marriage. What did they name them?!!!? JO-hua, SO-hua

3 Years Ago | 2 shares | By Anju # 33

Dear reciever, I’m a Blonde Virus. I’m not so advanced, so pls delete all ur files urself and also help me to spread by sending to all. Thank U !

3 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Kanishk # 25

Me without you and your Love would be
Like Facebook without Friends,
YouTube Without Videos
And
Google with No Results..
Keep Loving Me )

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Arjun # 35

A guy says to his friend, 'Guess how many coins I have in my pocket.'

The friend says, 'If I guess right, will you give me one of them?'

The first guy says, 'If you guess right, I'll give you both of them.'

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Monika # 40

Teacher: What's the past participle of the verb 'to ring?'
Student: What do you think, sir?
Teacher: I don't think. I KNOW.
Student: I don't think I know either, sir.

3 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Varun # 68

Two children are talking.

A: Meet my new born brother.
B: Oh, he is so handsome! What's his name?
A: I don't know. I can't understand a word he says

3 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Nitin # 118

The patient says, 'Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.'
The doctor says, 'Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.'
mug = cup

The patient says, 'Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, 'Next, please.'

3 Years Ago | 1 shares | By Divya # 90

MOM ALWAYS SAID...
Money Doesn't Grow On Trees
Mom!!!! money is made from
paper & paper comes from trees.
Therefore your argument is
invalid..

3 Years Ago | 6 shares | By Prabhjot # 92

Class Room is Like a Train
1st Two Benches r Reserved For VIP . .
Nxt Two Benches r General coach
Then
Last Two Benches r Vry Demanded.
Bcz Its SLEEPER COACH :P :D

3 Years Ago | 0 shares | By Retasha Sharma # 114

A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
Which will reach down first?
.
.
Ans:The Pizza,as it's fast food!

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This category was added on 6/24/2017 3:56:38 PM, contains 43 SMS, images and status messages, was last last updated on 6/24/2017 3:56:38 PM, has 0 images, had 82786 visitors this month so far. Feel free to share these good, clean, happy English Jokes messages with your friends on WhatsApp and Facebook.